Building Your Must Play & Do Not Play List

One of the questions I get all the time is:

"How many songs shoulAbout Martyd we put on our Must Play list?"

Most couples are surprised by my answer.

  • I usually tell them about 15.
  • Not because I only want 15 songs.
  • Because I'm not looking for you to build an entire playlist.
  • I'm looking for you to help me understand you.

Your song list tells me a lot about the kind of celebration you want to have. It helps me understand your personalities, your style, and the songs that are meaningful to you and your guests.

That's much more valuable than giving me hundreds of songs.

It's More Than Just a Playlist

When you send me your Must Play list, I'm not just checking songs off one by one.

I'm looking at the big picture.

I'm asking myself...

  • What songs fit cocktail hour?
  • What songs make sense during dinner?
  • Which songs are going to get everyone on the dance floor?
  • Which songs should I save for later in the night?

It's more than just a playlist. I use it as a guide for your entire reception.

One Story That Happens More Than You'd Think

I had one bride send me about 75 Must Play songs.

As I looked through the list, I realized almost every one of them was a slow song.

When I mentioned it to her, she laughed.

She said,

"I didn't even realize that. I was just adding songs every time I heard one I liked."

That happens all the time.

Most couples aren't thinking about when a song should be played.

They're just thinking,

"I love this song."

And that's exactly why we work on this together.

A song isn't wrong because it's slow.

It might just belong during dinner instead of open dancing.

Some songs are perfect while guests are arriving.

Some are perfect once everyone is out on the dance floor.

Part of my job is figuring out where those songs fit best so your reception flows naturally from beginning to end.

What About the Do Not Play List?

Your Do Not Play list is just as important.

Usually, I tell couples to keep it fairly short.

Five songs is plenty.

If there's a song you absolutely can't stand...

  • If it reminds you of an old relationship...
  • Or if you simply never want to hear it at your wedding...

Tell me.

I want to know.

Now, if I get a Do Not Play list with 40 or 50 songs on it, including songs that almost every crowd enjoys, I'm probably going to ask another question.

"What do you want your guests dancing to?"

That conversation usually tells me everything I need to know.

Trust the Process

I remember working with a music producer who had very specific music he wanted played.

Before the wedding, I asked him one question.

"If these songs aren't connecting with your guests, do you want me to stay with your list or adjust?"

Without hesitation he said,

"Switch it up."

Sure enough, about ten minutes into dancing, guests started asking for different music.

Not because his choices were bad.

They just weren't connecting with that particular crowd.

So I adjusted.

The dance floor filled up, everyone had a great time, and afterward he thanked me for making the change.

That's why I always ask that question.

Sometimes the right song just needs to be played at a different time.

Sometimes the room tells us exactly where we need to go.

We'll Figure It Out Together

I completely understand why couples worry about giving up control.

You don't want to hear songs you dislike.

At the same time, you don't want your reception to feel so planned that there's no room for the party to happen naturally.

That's where I can help.

Give me the songs you absolutely love.

Tell me what you never want to hear.

We'll talk about your guests, your personalities, and the kind of celebration you're hoping to have.

Then we'll build from there.

Your song list isn't just a playlist.

It's one of the best ways for me to understand who you are so I can help create a celebration that feels like you.

Continue Planning Your Wedding

Start Here

Related Resources

Still have questions?

I hope these resources have helped make wedding planning a little easier. Every wedding is different, and sometimes it helps to talk through your ideas with someone who's been there hundreds of times. If you'd like to chat about your plans, ask a few questions, or simply see if we're a good fit, I'd love to hear from you.

Let's Talk About Your Wedding